...and a Blackbir-rdd in a Pine Tree.

Actually, five of them, although I believe I was promised 12 of them, but in the wacky world of Christmas Carols, who's counting?

Wacky is right. Exactly what are turtledoves? Do we have these in the Frozen North? Turtles I get, and doves. But turtledoves? Things that fly, but re-e-a-l-l-y slowly??

French Hens, no problem. We're bilingual here, so maybe the hens are too. I'm good with that.

But calling birds? Don't they all call? I guess these days they all twitter; nobody phones anymore.

And what will I do with all these birds? I have enough trouble with fur from my cat and dog, don't want feathers as well. They'll all have to stay outside, so I hope they're tough. It's freezing rain tonight.

Never mind, let's open the rest of these parcels. Ah, a whole mess of people in strange costumes. Let's see, some drummers, some pipers, some lords, some ladies and some maids. Those lords will come in handy, assuming I can get them to stop that silly leaping. There's a whole pile of partial bags of clay under the table they can soak and wedge and then maybe I'll finally get around to throwing some planters with it. In fact, if they have any natural talent, maybe they can even do the throwing.

The pipers could be useful, too.

If they are anything like a certain Pied one, maybe they can pipe the squirrels, chipmunks and beavers into the next township. Or farther. I wouldn't want them to stop too soon as then the rodenticals might just turn right around and come back. And of course the pipers will have to either stay away or keep marching, because if they come back here, so will the chewy ones. Good, because I'm getting concerned about how I'm to feed and house all these people. Hopefully some of the ladies are good cooks, and some of the maids can earn their keep by dusting and the like. Plenty of dust around here.

Don't know where the swans are going to swim, unless the beavers do come back and keep the dam in good repair and the pond filled. The geese can join them. Maybe they can indulge in some of that True Love and we can have swan/geese hybrid chicks, egg-layers with elegeance. I'll need a lot of eggs to feed all those lords.

And five gold rings! What the heck do I do with five gold rings? Do I wear one per finger? Then there aren't enough of them, True Love. I have 10 fingers. Or do I wear them all on one hand? Now if one were a diamond, one a ruby, one a sapphire and so on, it could look pretty good, but all the same??? Maybe I can run them down the local pawnery and use the proceeds for more glaze ingredients.

Ah well. True Love never did run smooth.....

Have a Merry Christmas, everyone!